Right....

My last post was pretty optimistic. I was going to try the meds, I was motivated and really pretty confident it would be okay. The first week was, then from saturday night on it all went terribly wrong. Saturday night a headache started that hopefully, hopefully is finally going away. I spend a lot of time in bed this week and that is something I rarely do even when I will but I was litterarly to weak to lift a finger let alone my head. And the pounding in my head just would not let up. Then more fun, from monday evening onwards I stopped eating. No nausea or anything, just couldn't force the food in. or with the greatest difficulty. Knowing this was one of the danger signs for the meds I called the neurologists office on tuesday, they promised to call me back, didn't and called again on wednesday. The nurse finally called me on wednesday afternoon. She was shocked when I told her what was going on. Nice when a professional is shocked when you tell your story. She told me to stop these meds. Even after 10 days you can't stop this junk cold turkey. So for the next week I still had to take one every other day. And then when I am off this we are going to try something else. [just got it today and from the instructions it doesn't seem as bad as this lot.] wait and see.

I started fysiotherapy again to help with the tension headaches and the aches in my neck and that is helping a great deal to get my back on my feet again.

All this has set me thinking. My first thoughts were, I want my paracetamol back!!! What the hell am I doing to myself when I could fairly well manage it with those painkiillers. It lasted a few days, but I did not give in. And then this morning another thought struck me. What the HELL have I been doing to my body all these years. Even home sick I would take painkillers instead of listening to my body and resting when it cried for rest. I have not listened at all, never. It actually made me cry. There you are, miss counselor who can tell others what to do to make their lives better and you still are not listening to your own body. It is going to be tough, I know. because I want to do so much and I know at times I am still going to get angry for my body for being in the way. But I am making a pact with my body now. I am going to start to listen and I am going to give it more love and attention. On rare occasions I am still going to ask for that extra mile but I will reward it on other days. My body is my tempel and it is about time I start treating it that way.

Comments

Mariette ENG said…
Wow! I have no words... just respect!
gawain said…
Thank you ... blush! Now I have to stick to it! I was so close to taking painkillers this week.

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